After a mostly disappointing Day 1 of Mania, I was coming into this one pretty hopeful. The womens title three way sounded incredible, I'm a big fan of Drew and Bron, plus we all knew Dom was going to rat Finn somehow and that sounded exciting, and yknow, The Rock! Cena vs Punk at the end of the Chamber gave me hope that maybe Cena would be able to pull some last bit of workrate out of his ass, but even if he didn't or that was all Punk, at least The Rock would be here. God, I was so full of hope.
Match 1:
Iyo Sky (c) vs Bianca Belair vs Rhea Ripley
Womens World Championship
I am a massive fan of all three women, so I felt relatively confident this would be a banger, and god, did they deliver. Even more action packed than the night 1 main event, and only 14 minutes. Feels a little ridiculous that Flair vs Tiffy got 5 whole minutes more than this, and the later Logan Paul vs AJ Styles also got almost 4 minutes more, but such is life. They used the time perfectly, really well executed three person spots, very little pairing off for any major length of time.
I'm a big stickler for the minor points of realism in wrestling, as is constantly mentioned in my reviews. Things like 'does the person actually look like they kicked out of the pin?' or 'is this reversal too telegraphed?' really take me out of it for a moment, and so many triple threats are filled with 'person climbs turnbuckle like they're trying to be OSHA compliant on a step ladder'. This match wasn't perfect in that aspect, but having Iyo pop off at the top and take in the crowd was a much better way of doing it than climbing like its her first time above sea level.
In general, three person superplex spots also take me out of it a bit because, yknow, it really just takes co-operation, but I can overlook it because they tend to look cool, and I realise most people are not as much of a 'still real to me!' nerd as me. This one, though, was fantastic. Iyo's entire flip off the top onto the mat into the stumble down sell was top notch, made it look like she'd taken a super move. Similarly, I've seen a lot of knee up anti air spots in my time, but I don't think I've ever seen someone's entire legs up. Rhea anti airing Iyo like that, and Iyo bouncing all the way off right into Bianca's arms for a KoD looked fantastic. I have no idea how Iyo took that landing, but I'm sure it must've stung a bit.
My only minor complaint about this match, besides it getting less time than some other matches that really didn't need it, is the poisonrana tease. I know WWE is not letting Io do a top rope Poisonrana on anyone, I knew it was going to get reversed, but man, I fuckin love poisonranas. Apart from that, the finish was great, and exactly the outcome I, and all of us, were wanting. Overall, a fantastic match, and may be my new favourite Mania opener match.
4.75 out of 5.
Match 2:
Damian Priest vs Drew McIntyre
Sin City Street Fight
I don't really think I'm particularly alone in this, but Drew is someone I had entirely overlooked for years, but man, what a 2024 he had. Drew vs Punk Hell in a Cell is maaaaaaybe my Match of the Year 2024 (I haven't done a ton of thought on that, but its definitely an option), so I was really hoping for him to get a massive push this year so we wouldn't all notice he hadn't won a match besides Sami Zayn in a year. Honestly, prior to the Heyman angle becoming so clear, I really wished he was in the Night 1 triple threat. I was also one of the Seth/Drew/KO Anti-Bloodline believers earlier in the year.
Priest, on the other hand, is someone I like, but god, the Judgment Day vortex was so boring. Every week, Finn interferes, then dies. Every Raw! How is this being presented as a real rivalry? Its so one sided! The booking isn't his fault, but it really wasn't giving him much of a chance to show off his skills.
This match was thus always going to be a bit hard for me to view objectively. A Drew hardcore match so soon after the HIAC is hard not to compare to that, but that's not really fair, because its a feud ending level of bloodbath you can't just pull out all the time, but I tried my best to stay objective going in. And I had fun! It felt weirdly one sided, but they did a lot of fun hardcore spots. The selfie was great, had all us watching at my house laughing. The little offense Priest did get in was pretty cool, chokeslam through a table with a chair over his neck was a cool visual. But really, it was just sorta odd how one sided it was. I said 'Drew ain't winning' after he got spot after spot and we all chuckled, then he got hit by that chokeslam and I said 'oh, nevermind, he's got this', sarcastically, but then turned out to be right? I feel like this isn't ending this feud.
Also, I kinda thought this match would start with a pre-filmed clip of them fighting on Fremont Street in Downtown Vegas, since it was called a Sin City Street Fight, and it didn't, so it missed the expectations I invented.
3.75 out of 5
Match 3:
Bron Breakker (c) vs Penta vs Dom Mysterio vs Finn Balor
Intercontinental Championship
Now, this match I was definitely keen for. Bron Breakker is up there in contention for my current favourite active talent, though I think Konosuke Takeshita has that spot locked up after the Nitro-breaking Dynamite. Bron's definitely got plenty of years ahead to take that spot, though. I've often called Scott Steiner in contention for my favourite wrestler of all time, too, since he's been one of the best in-ring talents and one of the best promos, just those two qualities were about a decade apart. And man, Bron really feels like you took those two and squeezed them together a bit. Feel bad for Rick that Bron's taken his uncle's gimmick rather than his dad's but, yknow, Rick's a transphobe so fuck him.
Of course, the outcome of this match was a foregone conclusion. I think everyone knew this was just a set up for Dom to fuck over Finn like the little rat he is and win the IC Title. Why else would you book two members of a heel stable in the same title four way? Nevertheless, seeing how we'd get there would be fun. And it was! I think everyone's mostly talking about Bron Spearing Carlito from one table to the other, which really got helped by Michael Cole's 'I think Carlito's dead!' call, but there was a bunch of fun spots. Penta hits a Senton to the outside on Finn and Dom, pops off a bit outside, feels like a normal spot. Then suddenly Bron dives at him, felt like he wasn't in the shot at all then suddenly had bowled Penta out the other side of it. Absolutely insane how fast that guy can move, especially at his size.
Penta hit a fantastic looking Canadian Destroyer, which is a move I'm generally not a big fan of, and it had to be interrupted by Carlito! Always nice when cool moves get a little protection even if not a finish. I will say, though, even as I'm reading through my notes and writing this up, my main complaint about this match is it sorta feels booked like a three way. You've got the beast, Bron Breakker, defending his title, you've got the worthy challenger Penta, here to try and overcome him, and you've got the rat, Dom, who's gonna try and steal the win. And then also Finn is here. I genuinely can't remember anything Finn did except hit the Coup de Grace at the end to set up Dom's win. I hope he's at least getting paid well.
The other complaint is that that is the exact same finish as the first match! Like, in a vacuum, I don't really hold it against this match, but come on. Someone hits a finisher, goes for the cover, but someone they stunned earlier on the top rope is still on the top rope, and dives off to steal the 1 2 3. It's exactly the same! Not just 'if you squint a bit'! Really needs a little more co-ordination, I think, to spiffy stuff like that out, but not a huge deal.
4 out of 5 stars
Match 4:
Randy Orton vs Joe Hendry
A lot has already been said about this match online, so I don’t think there’s much more for me to add. I’m really happy for Joe, that he got to be in a Mania match with a legend, even if it was so short and somewhat of a squash I’m sure having his name out there will do wonders for him, individually. For TNA, though, how pathetic do you have to be to let your world champ go out there and lose in 3 minutes? Learning that TNA shot down a Joe feuding with The Miz, but approved a 3 minute loss to Orton, is really just the funniest cherry on top.
All in all, funny little time filler. Joe’s entrance got a huge pop from everyone watching in the Paris household, and its wild I got to see someone introduced as TNA Champion on Wrestlemania. Randy doing the Hendry pose at the end got a laugh, too. I’m also sad we missed out on Randy vs KO, and I hope KO gets well soon.
1 out of 5 stars.
Match 5:
AJ Styles vs Logan Paul
This match had a really weird build that didn’t capture me at all. Part of that is that Logan Paul can only cut one promo, ever, but also I don’t really understand why AJ cared so much when he mostly just seemed slightly annoyed by Logan Paul. Karrion Kross seemed to mostly have the beef, wanting AJ to win to protect professional wrestling, so it’s ultimately just confusing to me.
Logan Paul is someone that I don’t really get. He’s definitely not bad, but his samey promos and samey in ring are something that’s never captured me, but then I go online and see ‘wow, it sucks that Logan Paul is surprisingly good’. Is he? He’s pretty athletic, but I just get nothing from his in-ring storytelling besides his parade of Youtube mates. Then again, there’s also a weird Nia Jax apologist trend in wrestling social media this year so maybe there’s something in the water.
This match went for 18 minutes and all I can remember is Logan Paul doing a Styles Clash, which gets reversed into an AJ Styles Clash, which was pretty cool, one shot where Logan Paul launched a drone that did a flyby view of him doing a pretty big frog splash, and the finish, where someone tried to interfere, but Karrion Kross stopped him, offering the stolen brass knuckles to AJ, who refused them and then immediately lost. Not really a big cavalcade of wrestling moments for 18 minutes. I hope this isn’t AJ’s last Mania match.
2.5 out of 5
Match 6:
Liv Morgan and Raquel Rodriguez (c) vs Lyra Valkyria and Becky Lynch
WWE Womens Tag Championship
Despite having the return of Becky Lynch after almost a year away, this was an incredibly bog standard WWE tag match. Lyra gets beaten up for a while, then hot tag to Becky, then Becky win. I really like three of the women in this match, so you probably could’ve done something more interesting than that, but that’d require more than the 8 minutes they got and more care in the womens tag division.
Since I’m writing this review incredibly late, I do have the benefit of knowing where this angle was setting up. I never believed in Becky Hogan as people online were saying, but I think this was an odd way to start an angle regardless. Make up a tag team to challenge for the title 2 weeks before Mania, one of whom is your new Womens IC champ, then break that up the day before Mania for a different new tag team, then turn heel, also missing Bayley a Mania match. Like, this will likely lead to a Becky vs Bayley match down the line, and I am excited for Lyra and the womens IC title to mean something, I just feel like you surely could’ve had some more time to set something up here, even if it's just starting Lyra and Bayley as a team earlier.
Either way, this match was forgettable.
2 out of 5
Match 7:
Stone Cold Steve Austin vs woman in the front row
Weird to have a squash right before the main event but lol he was driving that thing way too fast. Hope she got some decent compensation.
Main Event:
Cody Rhodes (c) vs John Cena
WWE Championship
Man, so much to say about this match. Punk vs Cena at the end of the Chamber had really filled me with so much hope, but now that I think about it, that was a tiny segment of a long match that the other members mostly carried, and Cena only really seems to bring his best working pants out for Punk to begin with.
This match was slow. It was really, really slow. Cena was visibly, loudly calling spots, and I get that that’s ‘part of his heel gimmick’, but I think it sucks to watch. Cena, as per classic Cena, has the worst looking rest holds you’ve ever seen, and I think his STFU (nice to hear that name again, at least) had an even bigger gap this time than classically. There was a ton of finishers being kicked out of, and one Cross Rhodes not kicked out of but the ref had taken a bump. I feel like surely Cody being slammed twice into the exposed turnbuckle, followed by an AA is a better heel finish than we got, but instead that was just the entrance to the slowest transition to the finale you’ve ever seen.
Did no one tell Travis Scott that interference should try to move to the ring with some bristness? It must’ve taken him 4 minutes or so to make it down there, in between his slow stroll and his weird stroking of his fake belt. This match only went for 22 minutes, but the glacial pace of both Cena’s movement and Travis Scott made it feel closer to the 33 of Night 1.
All the set up with The Rock apparently thrown out the window because god knows which of those carnies is telling the truth about why he wasn’t there or was never meant to be there. Cena sold his soul to The Rock for a title shot he’d already earned, and to get interference from a rapper, not even a wrestler. I’d ask for a refund. All he managed to do was pull a ref out and miss his cue to roll out of the ring after being Cross Rhoded. Not to mention, incredibly blatant interference. It almost feels like they wrote it like he was there with The Rock, who could threaten to fire the ref if he called a dq, but there was no Rock, so instead we just didn’t get a DQ for reasons. Anyone checked where Vince Russo is at the moment?
After all that weird, slow and just plain bad interference, we get to the finish, where Cena goes for a title shot, but Cody takes it off him. Cena pleads and begs, and Cody can’t go for the return title blow. Cena low blows, title shots, pins, 1, 2, 3. Makes Cody look like such a dweeb, like, what was the point of Cody Alabama Slamming KO off a ladder onto a table in a great, bloody match if he couldn’t even do the title shot here? Leaving his friend in such a beaten, broken pile that Sami Zayn desperately rushed out to check on him, but he can’t hit his ‘hero’ (Cody would’ve been, what, 20 when Cena became Super? Yeah right) with a belt? Come on! I could forgive this if the match had been good, but it was just bad at every step. Bad start, bad movement, bad flow, god awful interference, bad finish. I dread to see what Cena vs Orton ends up like.
0 out of 5 stars
Such a hard event to rate. Day 1 was middling to bad all the way through, until an incredible main event. Day 2 started off with rockets strapped to it, then went to middling, then to absolutely awful. I’d probably just recommend checking out the day 1 main event and the day 2 opener, but ultimately I’d recommend nothing because fuck WWE. I’m very excited to watch Stardom All Star Grand Queendom next, and will happily do another review for that! I’m still considering swapping to podcasting because man, typing this much hurts my hands.
